May 2013
8 posts
I've said things I didn't mean, but I'd already...
The final thing I wrote in Los Angeles didn’t post. I’ve never really gotten the hang of the Tumblr iPad app, so it could have been my fault. It’s not in my drafts, it’s not here. The words felt so important at the time, but I’m not particularly broken up that they’re gone. It really upset me at the time. Three days later, I don’t remember what the words...
Cameron Esposito: Tell your rape jokes. Expect to... →
cameronesposito:
Seems like every 6 months or so - maybe once a year - there is a debate about rape jokes. Here’s how it goes:
A dude tells jokes about rape or deals with hecklers in way that includes rape. A woman hears these jokes or is the heckler. She publicly states that she is upset or didn’t like the joke…
Yes.
3 tags
The weather is warmer than I expected, I tell you, and you laugh and shake your head and remind me that it’s summer and not all places are where I come from. My skin warms when we cross streets and immediately becomes too cool when we enter the shadow of buildings. I cross in the middle of the street so I can stay in the sun and you follow me without asking. I wish it was always going to be that...
April 2013
12 posts
My paternal grandfather passed on in 1995, the day before my tenth birthday. I don’t remember much about it, to be honest. I remember that we all spent a lot of time in the hospital, that I missed my first (and what would have been only) track practice, that a younger cousin was playing on the back of a chair and fell off and broke her collar bone in the ICU waiting room, and that I rode...
Harry: "this go hard yo i listen to this when im in that lax mood i either do that or smoke some blue dolphin [weed]"
me: the way you wrote that looks like one of jean-ralphio's raps that has one too many words in it
Harry: that's awesome
It's just a youtube comment I copied
me: hahahaha
perfect
Harry: your response flows like a rap line too. It's got a real nice slant rhyme like you're landing a comeback
me: I just make a parks and rec reference and all my boys go OHHHHHHHH
I would suck so hard in a rap battle
my name is jen and I'm here to say that I'm super fucking nervous in every way
I wish I had a dog, you look real pretty, I miss eating bread... man, this rap is shitty.
People spend their entire lives trying to qualify for the Boston Marathon. Any runner who has ever laced up a pair of shoes and traveled a mile in them, huffing and puffing, has thought “Maybe I could race Boston someday.” I’ve thought about it. Me, with my terrible knees and my 13:00/mile pace - I’ve thought about using cycling as my cross-training and trying to figure out...
No carbs, no sugar, day four.
Cut link provided because no one gives a shit about your nutrition decisions. Crappy attitude provided because I can’t have any goddamn bread.
[[MORE]]
Hello. I am a person who hates anything you could refer to as a “diet”. I think that people should know where their food comes from, know how their body works, listen to that body, and just eat real food. Eat that cake and...
I know I haven't said enough how I will protect,...
We left Breckenridge a little after 6 a.m., with 4.5 hours to spare before Kurt’s flight back to Cincinnati. That’s far earlier than reasonable, considering Denver is only about 100 miles away and the roads were empty. Our waiter from two nights earlier had expressed disappointment that we were leaving Tuesday morning because we’d miss the snow on Tuesday afternoon, and we told...
I’m not used to vacations. I’ve never made enough money to make leisure travel an actual option, so the number of actual vacations I’ve taken since I became a self-sufficient adult ten years ago are relatively few. Which is not to say that we don’t travel, just to say that there’s always a purpose. We fly from San Francisco to Kansas City or Cincinnati to see our...
“You know you are not in Kansas anymore when the guardian of your city’s...”
– San Francisco legacy bars: a toast - San Francisco Chronicle
It’s cool, Carl Nolte, I understand that you had no other option in the lede of this well-written story than to take a dig at a state you’ve likely never visited. Don’t worry about it.
Also, when they launched that...
“I am sure every girl can recall, at least once as a child, coming home and...”
– You Didn’t Thank Me For Punching You in the Face « Views from the Couch (via hanksyewest)
Unbelievable, except for the part where it’s entirely believable. I cannot believe this was ever acceptable, and I sure as shit can’t believe it’s still acceptable.
March 2013
18 posts
Birthday presents I have received, in no...
A latte and a ham and cheese croissant, delivered in bed
Many incredibly sweet cards
Many incredibly sweet emails
Many incredibly sweet Facebook and Twitter messages
A phone that didn’t stop ringing all day Thursday
$5 sent via Twitter for the purpose of buying a beer
Male athletic supporter
Bottle of gueuze at Pi Bar
Cocktails and dinner at Trick Dog
Beers at Southern Pacific
...
“I am completely obliterated the entire time and that helps. So if you’re reading...”
– Scott Aukerman on Comedy Bang! Bang! Season 2 (IFC)
Reblogged so it’s directly on top of that touchy-feely bullshit I wrote a little bit ago.
March 25th, 2013.
I will never understand why I’m so compelled to remember things by ages, by years. I suspect it’s because I have the most unbalanced memory of anyone I’ve ever met. I was called upon to remember the last house party someone else threw the other day (April 8th, 2011 - you remember, Amy and Steven were there, the next day was Opening Night when we got our World Series rings), and I...
That's What She Said.: It's not her fault, it... →
annetdonahue:
I rarely ever write this personally. But okay.
When I was four, a kid in my neighbourhood took me into his room and pulled down my pants (twice) when I went over to play. I went home, told my mom, and she walked right over to that neighbour’s house, where she and that kid’s mom raised all kinds…
It will come as no surprise to you that I’ve been reading the same...
“It’s easy, cheap, and sometimes even fun to be mean. It’s a whole lot braver to...”
– Why understanding and embracing easy pop-culture targets beats deriding them | Music | For Our Consideration | The A.V. Club
“You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you...”
– Anne Lamott (via givemeajobplease)
Relevant, always.
Tupperwolf: Wealth, risk, and stuff →
vruba:
Via Anne Galloway on Twitter, I just saw Living With Less. A Lot Less, an opinion piece in the New York Times.
I run into some version of this essay by some moneybags twig-bishop about once a year, and it bugs me every time.
Here’s the thing. Wealth is not a number of dollars. It is not a…
Yes. Yes, absolutely.
I linked to the Times essay on Facebook yesterday and discussed it...
I would love to tell you how excited I am about my current contract, but I can’t. I can tell you that I’m working for Samsung, and I can tell you that I got to ride my bicycle for two hours and sit on a train reading for two hours, and I can tell you that I am now working from home. I can’t tell you what I’m working on and I realize there’s no way to gush about my...
Jesse texted me yesterday to ask if I wanted to hang out with him on brew day, and for once it occurred to me that since I’m going to the homebrew store anyway, I might as well get my shit together and brew. I wanted to make my very favorite homebrew for my birthday, but I missed that deadline for a few weeks. So, I’ve just been putting it off, for no good reason, since I didn’t...
February 2013
9 posts
I wrote a lot of words about changing and then I deleted them. Plans don’t mean anything if you don’t execute them. Let’s see how the next two months go.
Things I have generously given my cough that it...
Cookie
Croissants (one ham and cheese, one chocolate)
Latte
Bagel
Beer (multiple varieties)
5 days off work
Cake batter
Roasted chicken
Pasta
Nap
Tea (hot and iced)
Ungrateful attitude
Wine
DayQuil
NyQuil
Benadryl
Advil
Thirty hours of wasting monsters in Borderlands 2
Tears
“According to the Hartford Courant, we know that when the police searched...”
– Video games didn’t cause Newtown rampage - CNN.com
I gave a professional presentation two weeks ago about myself and my work, and a section of it was devoted to writing. I explained how much writing is a part of my process both personally and professionally, showing evidence such as my...
It’s not really like me to get sentimental about Valentine’s Day. As a general rule, I sort of don’t care. We aren’t a gift-giving couple and we try to show one another love in ways that feel more appropriate to us. Neither of us responds all that well to pressure, and the idea of having one day every year that we’re supposed to behave in ways that aren’t native...
There are good weekends and there are awesome weekends. In case you’re wondering which one I’m having, I started my weekend with this. Saturday we went to the Party Down reunion, where my boyfriend asked the greatest question ever and then Adam Scott and Ken Marino came upstairs to yell at him and they were right in front of me. Sour Sunday looked an awful lot like this:
And, so,...
On home.
I had a bad run today. Runners are quick to reassure one another that bad runs happen, and you just have to blow them off and get back there. That’s something I can get behind. Some days I have bad bike rides. Some days I just can’t get my breathing right when I’m swimming. I can’t climb the way I’m used to. No matter how rested you may be, how good you may feel, some...
January 2013
13 posts
My Favorite Mr. Show Sketches
helphelp:
bestrooftalkever:
For those who might be interested:
Pre-Taped Call-in Show
The Audition
Titannica
Lie Detector
The Story Of Everest
Hunger Strike
Megaphone Crooners
I’ll Marry Your Stupid Ass
Globo-Chem Commercials
Law Firm Job Interview
Young People & Companions
Leaving this here, mostly for reference. Not sure why Cock Ring Warehouse isn’t on this list, but...
